No, actually, it's because I prefer cock

[julesjones]

This week we have had not one but two romance blogs start talking about why there is so little f/f romance about. And in both cases, the usual thing has come up with some people claiming that the only conceivable reason why straight women won't read f/f is because they are terrified that they will like it and this will make them lesbians. Even after other women have posted to the thread that it's because guys turn them on and women don't, and thus f/f is *boring* if they're only reading it for the porn. Not repellent. Boring.

This... is annoying me. Because I'm one of the women who finds f/f boring if I'm only reading it for the porn. I'm Kinsey 0. I don't find women's bodies disgusting. I just don't find them a turn-on. So many books, so little time, and why would I want to waste time reading about women slapping their bits together when I could be spending it reading about men doing likewise?

And the theory that bi and lesbian women liking m/m is proof that we've all internalised hatred of women's bodies doesn't wash either. There are *other* reasons for women to find m/m more interesting to read than f/f, regardless of their personal sexual orientation, and for some it's all about the hurt/comfort and emo!porn. Women are allowed to express love and fear and other squidgy emotions, and men aren't. So it's fun to watch them being forced to open up and deal with those emotions. For many readers that's part of the point of the romance genre in the first place. M/m gives you double the man-angst for your money, while f/f gives you none. I'll point here at my Girls who like boys who do boys essay and its comment thread for a more detailed discussion of this and other reasons for the appeal of m/m.

Which isn't to say that I don't read f/f stories. I do. I've read some superb f/f fanfic, and published some of it in my zine series.[*] But what I'm reading there is generally not PlotWhatPlot. A lot of commercial f/f is PWP, or at least doesn't have any other story elements that are sufficiently interesting to me personally to make up for my lack of interest in the sex scenes. This isn't just because it's f/f -- I react the same way to m/f contemporary romance. I generally don't read either unless I have specific recommendations from people I trust, because prior experience suggests that it is far more likely to be a boring waste of my time or an active wallbanger than something I'll really enjoy.

Yes, some women do indeed read m/m but steer clear of f/f because they're homophobic, or because of internalised misogynism. But sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, and a liking for real phalluses is just a liking for cock.


[*] I'm not linking to examples because the very thing that makes them good reads for me means that they may not work for people not familiar with the fandom.

ETA: I'm using "porn" here in the fanfic/sf fannish sense, which doesn't have the derogatory connotations that it does in romance fandom. Given last week's explosions in the romance blogsphere about the word, I thought I'd better clarify.

Comments

[hafren.livejournal.com]

I do so agree. I'll read most anything if the style or storyline grips me, but PWP is a special case, and so to a degree, for the reasons you set out, is angst/emo. If it's about (a) physical bits and (b)emotional reaction, then I'm going to choose what has the most of the latter, which is m/m, and the physical bits that turn me on, which is also m/m.

It's also a matter of difference. I have no objection to women's bodies, or emotions, but they don't exactly come as a surprise or revelation to me either. Been there, got that.

[kalypso-v.livejournal.com]

Well, I think for me, it's like that for all porn, f/f, f/m or m/m. Men's bodies don't disgust me, women's bodies don't disgust me; in real life, I can get quite interested in either. But written/drawn/photographed on a page/screen, they do nothing for me; I'm there for the emotion/dialogue/plot, so once the UST, which I do enjoy, morphs into RST, I'm skimming to the next "interesting" bit.

[carl-allery.livejournal.com]

Even after other women have posted to the thread that it's because guys turn them on and women don't, and thus f/f is *boring* if they're only reading it for the porn. Not repellent. Boring.

Oh yeah, absolutely, because if there's no woman in there, then I'm really not interested, in the same way. So I totally get that.

A lot of commercial f/f is PWP, or at least doesn't have any other story elements that are sufficiently interesting to me personally to make up for my lack of interest in the sex scenes.

Yeah, I'm just discovering this. Not that I have a lack of interest in the sex scenes, but that PWP is still boring if I'm not interested in the characters. I can forgive iffy writing in fanfic better because my knowledge of the characters can fill in some gaps.

Fortunately, I found an f/f publisher whose owner started her writing career with SF/F-oriented fanfic - and it shows. Many of her writers have come through the same apprenticeship and I know that she has high standards for those who don't. Every so often I try something from a different publisher, but it still surprises me how often I feel let down. And yeah, I've pointed some straight fans at some f/f fanfic and said to them, just skip the sex scenes, because the way those characters are written works so well, but I get that they might dislike or be bored by the sex. :)

and for some it's all about the hurt/comfort and emo!porn.

Oh, I do love some good angst. Fortunately there's enough good f/f h/c and angst, especially in my favourite fandoms that I get enough of a fix and generally don't have to resort to digging out the K/S, because, y'know, love the h/c but I usually skip the sex. *g* But I also get that some m/m combinations especially if they have uber origins might still hit the spot, even for women who prefer women. Takes all sorts and, it'd be a boring and limited world for writers if everyone liked reading the same thing.

[shriker-tam.livejournal.com]

I could see an appeal in losing the annoying romantic heroine.... A lot of romance (not that I've read that much, or, probably, that good romance) feature some spectacularly annoying women. They're silly, soppy and mopey. Not getting hugely irritated every other sentence by what a goose the stupid woman is, might be a nice change...

[communicator.livejournal.com]

That header would make a good T shirt

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

I agree with you, I don't read F/F romances not because I find them repellent, but because for me are boring. I like a woman body from the estethic point of view, I can see when something is beautiful, but it doesn't excite me. For example, once I received a propostion from a lesbian; she was a very beautiful woman, and I clearly thought, well, if I feel the desire to prove, she could be the right woman... but I didn't feel desire for her. My friends (male) who were with said I was nut, how can I dump a woman like that... well because I didn't see and prove what they felt seeing her.
Same with the books. Erotic romance should appeal to you, if not, you are reading a "how to" manual. And I never read manuals! I'm for exeperiment on field.
Elisa

[sallymn.livejournal.com]

Oh yes... I don't know how much more simply one can put it. The people I find sexually appealing are all men. That's just my personal bent and I canNOT see why anyone needs to get het up (to err, coin a phrase) because there are a lot of us who feel that way...

[luscious-words.livejournal.com]

I like how you expressed your points and I agree with much of what you said. Which leads to the need for quality f/f stories, not just PWP stories. I've read wallbangers in m/f, f/f, m/m, as well as other configurations. I don't have a preference per se, except that I want to read well-written stories with intriguing characters. If it happens to be two men, that works for me. If it happens to be two women, I'll enjoy it too. Give me some meat to go between the bumping uglies bits.

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

I wish women could just like what they like without having to analyse it and judge each other about it. Men like all kinds of wacky porn, including f/f, and nobody questions their sexual orientation or identity.