Depression, like love, is real. How it feels from the inside doesn't make it feel real though. Somehow, I do not know why, I stopped getting depressed. It is very frustrating to me to feel like I could have stopped being depressed, and that is how it feels. I suspect it has more to do with brain chemistry than any decision I made, but it still feels like one day I decided to be a happier person and it worked. And now, for whatever reason, when I feel the black dog creeping up upon me I can keep him at bay with happy thoughts like I never could in the past.
Perhaps I did have something to do with it. I think now that I'm older I don't give up as easily, so even when I'm unhappy for a day I soldier on and end up breaking the cycle before it can get really entrenched rather than just giving up.
But I am lucky that for whatever reason now I'm able to control it and I don't have a severe case that needs drugs, just Pollyanna thoughts.
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Date: 2010-05-31 03:36 am (UTC)Perhaps I did have something to do with it. I think now that I'm older I don't give up as easily, so even when I'm unhappy for a day I soldier on and end up breaking the cycle before it can get really entrenched rather than just giving up.
But I am lucky that for whatever reason now I'm able to control it and I don't have a severe case that needs drugs, just Pollyanna thoughts.