Research question

[julesjones]

watervole has a question, and probably has a better chance of getting an answer from my flist (no commentary as to why my flist is a more likely prospect, thank you:-).

I had an idea for a gay porn story, but I need to check out a few points first.

How common among gay men is the kind of fantasy that enjoys humiliation, maid service, etc?

Among het men, the pattern seems to be that it's the ones who are strong/powerful in real life who enjoy being able to relax by being a sub - I presume the same is true for gay men?

What is the 'cultural' reaction? Would it be realistic for a character who's a big tough bear to have a secret fantasy of being forced to cross-dress/be humiliated/told he's a slut and ordered to perform personal services?

If that's possible, is it also likely that he would want to keep it a secret from most of his gay friends?

I rather fancy a story with a queen ordering a bear around - there seems to be crochet in the background as well...

ETA: would a queen acting as a dom expect to be addressed as Master or Mistress?

Comments

[samcdermott65.livejournal.com]

I'm no expert, but I've read stuff out on Nifty.org. There seems to be a lot of stories containing humiliation.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Nice icon. Did you make it?

[samcdermott65.livejournal.com]

Than you. Beautiful isn't it? No I didn't. I wish I did. It was created by babaloney w00. You're more than welcome to grab a copy from my profile or you can go to babaloney w00's LJ and grab a copy. Just give proper credit.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I make all my own icons. I was just going to ask for how it was made. So I could do a similar one of me with snow covered trees.

[samcdermott65.livejournal.com]

So all these icons I see with your name are all ones you made and they're all of you? That's so cool.

You could try contacting babaloney w00. Maybe they can tell you how to do it or do it for you.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

What can I say? I'm very, very vain. Plus I love playing around with my computer.

[samcdermott65.livejournal.com]

*grins* I can see that and more.

[esmeraldus-neo.livejournal.com]

IME, submission comes from the damnedest directions. It's realistic for *anyone* to have submissive fantasies. It is probably common to be a bit shy about it.

Crochet?!?

Master or Mistress--I can't say for certain, but everything I know tells me "mistress." I have never, ever observed a queen using masculine pronouns.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

Depends upon how serious a drag persona the person has, I think. If the clothes are just a kink I think it would be even chances of being "Master" even while wearing the Dr. Frankfurter corset. But if the queen has a stage drag persona it will surely be Mistress.

[esmeraldus-neo.livejournal.com]

Agreed.

[mishalak.livejournal.com]

I'm no expert either. But it seemed really really common when I was into BDSM. I felt like I was a major exception in that I wanted to tied up and have kinky sex while wearing leather chaps (or whatever), but I didn't like to be verbally abused at all. My impression is that people who like that had a first experience involving embarrassment and so having it done again takes them back to the thrill of the first time. Or else still have "issues" to work through.

My second observation is that while very in control types like being able to let go of control they tend not to be personally powerful. I ran into very few subs who were bank vice presidents (or whatever). I did notice some cross expectation play where big powerful guys wanted to be tied up and be the sub, but almost never by thin willowy guys like me. (More's the pitty.) And while they might be big and powerful physically they tended to be fairly low on the scale as far as jobs.

All this is tended to be, of course. I've no doubt there are powerful guys who liked being tied up and humiliated. They would almost undoubtedly keep it secret from gay friends, maybe even gay friends into kink.

A big strong muscle-y guy would probably love being ordered around by a queen. The most common scenario I've seen is the guy who wants to be called a F*****, cock******, etc, by someone who's really straight acting, but going to opposite way where he feels like the straight guy being taken advantage of by the flaming queer is the second most common. If the queen is doing serious drag she'll want to be called mistress. Otherwise it is master all the way.

[yourbob.livejournal.com]

I have almost no experience in this particular area, but I'd suggest, as has essentially been said above, that whatevever you can imagine is probably being done. And as with most things in the bedroom (or dungeon) what goes on there mostly stays there - unless you're also at least part exhibitionist and/or the public part is part of your kink.