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Navel-gazing on the Evil Ex in romance
Feb. 13th, 2008 09:24 amThere's an interesting discussion at Smart Bitches Trashy Books about the way in which romance novels almost always show the hero's ex as an evil and/or crazy bitch. As Cat Marsters said, if she's that horrible, why did he get involved with her in the first place? Which set me to navel-gazing, because that's precisely why the Evil Ex in one of my books got a serious makeover.
Dolphin Dreams opens with Ye Hero badly traumatised by the recent bad break-up with his boyfriend. Bad as in discovering that Boyfriend is a married man and he's the bit on the side. Bad as in being told that as a submissive he shouldn't be worried about discovering he's lower in the pecking order. As I started writing the story, Evil Ex was a complete bastard. But three or four chapters in, I didn't find this convincing. My hero's a smart guy, solvent, good self-esteem. He doesn't have trouble finding boyfriends. He's a submissive in the bedroom, but that's because he likes to be submissive in the bedroom. He doesn't take any nonsense off people when he's running his business. Why would he have got involved with this dickhead in the first place?
There are a couple of potential answers to that. One is that the Evil Ex really is a self-centred bastard, but gives a good first impression. By the time his true qualities surface, Stockholm Syndrome has set in, and it takes the shock of discovering that he's married to break Hero loose.
The other is that Evil Ex really does have good qualities, but is behaving badly because of the circumstances he finds himself in. And that's the one I went with. The Hero has good reason to be angry and hurt, but that also means that at the start of the book he's seeing the ex in the worst possible light. As he starts to recover, partly because he's forming a new relationship, he's able to get some perspective. He stops blaming himself for getting involved with the ex in the first place. When the ex finally shows up in person, it isn't to provide the threat to the new relationship.
Obviously I'm biased. But I think that the book is better for it, that there is more depth to the storyline because I asked myself "Why the hell did he get involved with this guy in the first place?" Evil Ex is no longer a stock character, an excuse to get the ball rolling, but someone with a story of his own. Evil Exes can be very useful plot devices, but they need to be convincing as a potential partner, or the reader is going to start thinking the Hero(ine) is Too Stupid To Live for getting involved with them in the first place. And TSTL leads to the Eight Deadly Words -- "I don't _care_ *what* happens to these people!"
Dolphin Dreams opens with Ye Hero badly traumatised by the recent bad break-up with his boyfriend. Bad as in discovering that Boyfriend is a married man and he's the bit on the side. Bad as in being told that as a submissive he shouldn't be worried about discovering he's lower in the pecking order. As I started writing the story, Evil Ex was a complete bastard. But three or four chapters in, I didn't find this convincing. My hero's a smart guy, solvent, good self-esteem. He doesn't have trouble finding boyfriends. He's a submissive in the bedroom, but that's because he likes to be submissive in the bedroom. He doesn't take any nonsense off people when he's running his business. Why would he have got involved with this dickhead in the first place?
There are a couple of potential answers to that. One is that the Evil Ex really is a self-centred bastard, but gives a good first impression. By the time his true qualities surface, Stockholm Syndrome has set in, and it takes the shock of discovering that he's married to break Hero loose.
The other is that Evil Ex really does have good qualities, but is behaving badly because of the circumstances he finds himself in. And that's the one I went with. The Hero has good reason to be angry and hurt, but that also means that at the start of the book he's seeing the ex in the worst possible light. As he starts to recover, partly because he's forming a new relationship, he's able to get some perspective. He stops blaming himself for getting involved with the ex in the first place. When the ex finally shows up in person, it isn't to provide the threat to the new relationship.
Obviously I'm biased. But I think that the book is better for it, that there is more depth to the storyline because I asked myself "Why the hell did he get involved with this guy in the first place?" Evil Ex is no longer a stock character, an excuse to get the ball rolling, but someone with a story of his own. Evil Exes can be very useful plot devices, but they need to be convincing as a potential partner, or the reader is going to start thinking the Hero(ine) is Too Stupid To Live for getting involved with them in the first place. And TSTL leads to the Eight Deadly Words -- "I don't _care_ *what* happens to these people!"
